Of a Last Hurrah, Tradition, and Thankful Hearts

Thanksgiving…..The world has made it a last hurrah before the retail materialism of Christmas sets in in earnest.

As I think about Thanksgiving Day, I realize it can force a contrived, dutiful “I am thankful for”…rather than a heartfelt thankfulness in many of us. And if that is the case, then what is the point? Is it just a time set aside to eat good food with family and friends?

I find great value in a Thanksgiving Day. But I have had to wade through some thoughts to get there!

First of all, to have a Thanksgiving Day, one must have someone to whom one is thankful. If we are gathering and not giving thanks to God, we are merely being glad. We are glad we have health, a home, a family, etc. Being thankful, though, is recognizing the giver of the gift. Without God, it is a gathering to be glad – but not thankful.

Ezra 3:11 - With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the Lord: “He is good; his love toward Israel endures forever.” And all the people gave a great shout of praise to the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid.

1 Corinthians 1:4 - I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus.

Notice in these verses that the thanks goes to God.

Second, it is a tradition. And traditions have value. They are often the glue that holds things together – churches, families, even businesses have traditions. They are the things that we count on being the same. The things that help us be intentional with our lives – they help us remember the past, look forward to the future, or exist in today. The Bible is rich in examples of tradition. The Israelites celebrated the Feast of Tabernacles (or Booths), Passover, Rosh Hashanah, The Feast of Unleavened Bread, The Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur), etc. These were times set aside to celebrate corporately, and as families, the things of God. For us, we set aside Thanksgiving Day to celebrate God’s blessing in our lives, and to thank Him for them. The church I attend sets aside Thanksgiving Eve to corporately celebrate this intentionally – and I like that. We have a chance to focus on Thanking God as His people, together, as well as in our individual families.

Thirdly, while most of us express thankfulness for the “biggies” in our lives, I believe that God is pleased when we remember the smaller gifts He bestows on us daily as well– the things we brush past without noticing normally. The cardinal on the bush outside my kitchen window, adding a splash of beauty and brightness to bleak winter landscape. Do I thank God for this? That He knows when even one of these tiny creatures falls to the ground, and cares – oh, the mystery and wonder of that!

Matthew 10:29 (NIV) ²⁹ Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.

All the beauty around us, broken down into the pieces that make it so – all are gifts from God. We take them for granted. But they are gifts none the less, and we can take the time to notice them and thank God for them.

Then there are the things of God that we can be mindful to thank Him for – His love, His mercy, His righteousness, His power, His kindness, and faithfulness. That He would send His Son Jesus to us so that we might know Him, have a relationship with Him and spend eternity with Him! That is the best gift of all.

So, Thanksgiving Day, as stated above can be one more thing to get through, a day to please others and contrive something to say about what we are thankful for. Or it can be an attitude of the heart. An intentional observing and celebrating the goodness and faithfulness of our great God, with those we love. I realize this can be complicated and cannot always happen in each family, but may we cultivate it within our own hearts.

2 Corinthians 4:15

All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

When Love isn't Enough

The horrifying news of two teen suicides in our community, both girls that I had connections with, wrenched my heart. Saddened beyond words, I cannot fathom the depth of grief that these parents and families must walk through as they face the days and weeks ahead. This kind of grief forces its icy hand into their hearts, ripping away the very breath from their bodies. Typhoon-like waves of sorrow wash over them and threaten to pull them under. It brings with it intense sorrow, painful questionings, bittersweet memories and a future void of their beloved child. And how does one go on? How does one push through the darkness and go on with the mundane? Life for them will never be the same.

I entered into parenthood with many ideals that simply did not pan out to be true. Maybe you did, too. Naivety, mixed with the burning desire to make sure my children grew up to be healthy, happy, functioning adults who loved Jesus, manifested itself in simple ideals. Two days of parenthood quickly began to dispel that idealism . One of those ideals was, to quote a Beatles song, "All You Need Is Love".

I operated under the assumption that if we loved our children and made sure they knew we loved them, set boundaries for them, affirmed them and disciplined them as needed, they would be okay. They would not use drugs, develop eating disorders, have depression, behavior problems or self esteem issues, etc. We just had to love them enough and make sure they knew it.

And then, - teenage years! I was blindsided by the struggles and the rocky journeys.  I fought back the desire to just give up,  I fought angry words, and  doing what looked right in order to do what was right for my child.  It is by the grace of God that we are in a better place now. But I learned some hard things along the way, and I hope, that by sharing them, it might give perspective or encouragement to others who may be going through tough times.

I learned that, what we call love, isn't always enough. The lies of the world can become imbedded in the hearts and minds of our children, and once there, the battle is on to counteract those lies with truth.

I learned that what goes on in the mind of a child is not a reflection of our parenting skills. It can be, but not always.  I was saddened at the powerful influences the culture and media had on my children and others - ideas that were counter-cultural to what was taught in our home.

I learned that teenagers need a parent pushing into their world even though it feels like they don't want that. We must notice them, acknowledge that they are important to us, and show that we are on their side. They need us to speak truth, love and correction into their lives in a non-threatening, respectful way. They need us to be there for them - not in word alone- but in actions they can see.

I learned that pride has no place in this journey. It is humbling and heart wrenching and one has to forgo pride about parenting and  expectations in order to work through things in a way that is best for the child, not one's image as a parent.

I learned that God's grace is sufficient. He loves my children much more than I do. Daily, I can commit my them to Him - to my Abba Father.

I learned how precarious life is. How things can change in a moment and we have no control over another human being and what they will choose to do, believe or act on.

A parent can do everything right. They can sacrifice hours of time, gobs of money and tons of heart - and a child can still struggle to such depths that they know of no alternative to taking their own life. And that is so hard to bear, hard to believe, hard to relinquish.

It feels helpless to be on this side of the chasm of pain that these parents are in right now. All I can do is pray for them and be there for them. That doesn't feel like enough. And yet, that is the greatest thing I can do. I can pray to our great God who said we should "cast all of our burdens on Him", who said that "He is near to the brokenhearted", who said that "neither life nor death can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord".

Sometimes the darkness seems to win. But our God is bigger, and His love, grace, comfort, strength, power and peace will be enough.In the end, what we have perceived as “love” isn’t always enough.  There are other aspects of love that we don’t readily acknowledge:  the tough stand on principle, unending patience, bearing of heartache, suffering in prayer, acts of commitment to God, fighting the fight of faith.  And when all is said and done, when we commit ourselves and our children to God, we have loved with a love not our own.

 My prayers, and the prayers of many, are offered up on behalf of these devastated families. May we continue to love and support them in the tough days, weeks and years ahead.

The Story of A Life

I was amazed, at the visitation and funeral of my friend a few months back (see previous blog), to learn that he had even more talents and unique events in his life than I had gotten to glimpse. I had only known him during the last chapter of his life. Somehow, the fact that he used to carve and create beautiful clocks, or that he had traveled to Israel, or that he met his wife while filling in for a guitar player in her band, had never come up in our conversations. Chapters and chapters were written before my time with him.

Though I had known him for the last few pages of the last chapter of his life, I was struck by the fact that he had a long and interesting story, "unread" by me. I knew this, of course, but the impact of the story his life had made on so many stirred my heart and my mind to wonder.

Are we not all a story? Our very living....those moments where we are just breathing, heartbeat following heartbeat, are they not the prepositions, pronouns and conjunctions surrounding the ever changing story that is us? Then the joys and the sorrows, the accomplishments and the adventures, the loves and the grievous regrets pour forth to form the chapters, the climax, the resolution of our living and a story unfolds.

By my thinking, stories are important to God. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God." John 1:1. God spoke the world into existence. He used the story of Hosea to teach the nation of Israel how he would pursue them, in spite of their unfaithfulness. Jesus taught us using parables - stories to illustrate a truth, and our names are written in the Book of Life (Romans 17:9, Rev.3:5). We are part of God's story - collectively, and individually. God began his story of the world in "the beginning" with creation, and as each of us lives, we are a character included in His story of the world. Each life has a unique story that is unfolding with the breath we breath, with each new day that we are privileged to live on this earth.

 It is comforting to me that God knows my story from beginning to end. That He is with me to the last chapter....and when I get to the last page of my story, I will have the privilege of living out a sequel much more wonderful than the first volume.

The story of a life is powerful when that life is well-lived unto our Heavenly Father. My friend's story was a story of courage, love and faith - and lots of blessing others.  I know his sequel is going to be amazing!

Good Bye, Friend

It hit me like a bucket of cold water. The news that my friend had passed away. Before I could stop them, tears filled my eyes as thoughts of this dear man came to mind. I was not ready. We had plans - this week. We had ideas and dreams of things we were going to do together with music. I was not ready to say "good bye" - to accept that I would no longer see him, dressed in his western shirts and cowboy boots. That I would no longer hear his voice, sing with him, and laugh together as we muddled through a song in his tiny apartment, trying not to clobber one another with our guitars in the cramped space.

 He was old, and so thin you could slide him under a door, I used to tease. He couldn't see, due to macular degeneration - but you would never know it. He lived alone, was caretaker of his apartment complex, walked his dog, played guitar, helped his friends, went to church regularly and had a girlfriend.

 It was a privilege to sing with him. He had hundreds of songs stored in his head. When we would sing and play guitar together, I would have to watch him like a hawk and follow his singing, wherever he went, as his words did not always match the words on my page! One time, our stage manager asked Herb if the music stand was in the right spot for him to see. We laughed, as I reminded him that Herb couldn't see anyway!

A gracious and humble man, Herb was not easily offended and forgave readily. I was supposed to pick him up for a singing engagement we were to do. However, I misunderstood and kept him waiting for almost an hour before a friend could pick him up - he laughed about it. I felt terrible, but he brushed it off, and never gave it another thought, though it inconvenienced him horribly.

Herb tackled life - he didn't just live it. The last time I was at his home, we talked about how, when he was finished with his physical therapy, he wanted to help rehabilitate horses that had been abused. Who would ever think that a man of his age and condition would want to do that? He was not one to let age restrict his dreams and passions.

A threat to those who would do evil, Herb was a protector of the innocent. I think many were taken aback if they angered him, by how deceitfully strong and brave this wisp of a man could be.

He lived what humbleness looks like in the face of adversity. He could have been demanding and bitter about the health issues he faced, but he wasn't. He was a pleasure to be around, though pain was often a constant companion.

A living example of the power of God, Herb enjoyed his faith. Once on a destructive and unhealthy path, after deciding to make Jesus the Lord of his life, he was changed. Religion was not a weakness, it was not a ritual, it was living life with Jesus. It was serving and ministering, being brave and strong and hanging on to faith - not as a crutch, but as the inner strength from which people of noble character are born.

Why do I share these things? This is how I grieve - I write. It is part of the processing of my world. But also, as I reflect on the life of this man who had blessed me with his friendship, I realize that I have gleaned directions for my own journey from him. During my time with him I had tucked tidbits of all that I admired about this man into quiet places in my soul. His was a life well lived. Though he didn't have much in material wealth and possessions, he had much in the way of things that mattered. Faith, Family and Friends. In our busy lives, do we take the time to invest in people? We can get so busy, that we miss the blessing being in relationship with others, brings. I have been, and still am, guilty of this. People are what matter. Bottom line. Herb's life was a constant reminder to me of this.

 I wish he were still here, so I could tell him how much I respected and admired him, so we could finish our music projects and sing together one last time. But I rejoice that he is with his Lord, that his life was important, and worthwhile and that I will see him again someday. I'm still not ready. I will miss him. But I am forever grateful for the time I had.

1 Cor. 13:12
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

Herb is able to see clearly now. He knows fully all that God intended for him to know and understand. He is seeing his Lord face to face. And the angels are rejoicing by singing Country Gospel songs :)

The Invisible Graduate - Mama Cum Laud?

 

18 and a half years ago I began a journey - from being a young woman and wife to that of becoming Mama to a healthy, adorable, sweet, smart, - and yes, challenging, little person. Suddenly, it felt like my heart was split wide open, vulnerable to more joy and more pain than I ever thought possible before. This love was consuming, vast and different than what I had known before, and it changed me. Soon, my little one became a toddler.  I had left some of my trivial ways behind as love for a little person crowded them out. There were nights of little sleep and days of putting aside my to do list just to be with her. To interact with her, to rejoice over who she was and how she was growing, to capture precious moments that would slip by too easily - like a trickle of water down a mountainside.  Prayers became breath as I thanked, praised, and lifted up my little one to her Heavenly Father, who loved her, unfathomably, more than I did. She grew to be a preschooler and a big sister - a feisty little thing with a will of her own - why do children come with minds of their own?  It would be so much easier if they came wired to agree with their parents on everything. I anguished, but I grew and changed. And my understanding of God and how he covets our love, loyalty and obedience deepened. I wanted  those very things from my child. I journeyed with her through her school age years. Through the character training, the school work, the friend issues, the strange stages of asserted independence. I walked alongside her in her middle school and high school years. Watched the gangly limbs and crazy teeth transform into slender form and lovely smile. Watched her grow in faith, kindness, love, self sacrifice and beauty. Prayed with and encouraged her through heartbreaks with friends, sister conflicts, chores, lots of firsts and several sad lasts. And now we stand on the threshold as she is poised to take the rest of her life's journey without me being right there, without me walking side by side with her. We celebrate her accomplishments and we treasure her dreams. And I am standing on the threshold beside her, realizing that I too, am graduating. Graduating from being a mama of a child to that of being a mama to a young lady. And it is different. And I am different. I will never be the same - being a mama changed me and grew me closer to God than I ever would have come without this journey. It was my greatest honor and privilege to parent my children. This graduation day, it is not only my child who will be moving on to her next chapter - but I will as well. The journey awaits! 





A Canvas of Winter Art

A Canvas of Winter Art

The wind nibbled my cheeks as I crossed the field, lumbering along in snowshoes. My Dad's horse Buddy, was my companion as he trotted alongside the fence, his coat winter-fluffed, and whiskered nose dangling tiny icicles. Wherever I looked, there I saw beauty – stark beauty. The powdery landscape revealed far more than trees, or signs of plant life. Snow – pure, white snow - formed a blank canvas on which the wind etched eddies of design. Likewise, on hillsides and banks, it created wave-like crescents, while other flatter snow surfaces revealed bark-like patterns. Animal tracks wove their way over the sparkling surface – some meandering, others showing purposeful destination. Snow crystals sparkled and twinkled as the sun peeped from behind a cloud. In its full appearance, how the snow radiated its brightness! A brightness that hurt the eyes, compelling me to turn away from it! Yet its beauty was so overpowering I stood mesmerized by it all. So, squinty-eyed I gazed, longing for a camera to capture it all.

This winter trek repeatedly called to my mind the song “Whiter than Snow”.

The blessing by faith, I receive from above
Oh, glory! My soul is made perfect in love
My prayer has prevailed, and this moment I know,
The blood is applied, I am whiter than snow.

                             Whiter than snow, yes, whiter than snow,
                         Now wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Made “whiter than snow” by Christ’s work on the cross!  But it doesn’t end there. I long to be a pure canvas– a canvas for God to engrave his patterns across the landscape of my soul. For His Wind to whisper His will, His glory and His power, and more of who He is. For His design to be implanted in the depth of my being, blown across who I am until the one He created me to be is revealed – one small eddy and swirl at a time.

A canvass with tracks meandering, moving, His leading mine.

A canvass bright with His glory, radiating to a hurting world a brilliance flowing solely from Him.

May I faithfully trace His footprints with my own, going wherever His lead.

May His presence in my life fashion me as a work of art displaying His grace, love and beauty.

 

^“Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow” (Psalm 51:7).

 

 

 

Living Lavished Lives

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It's Thanksgiving today. It is a day we gather with others to remember God's many blessings to us in our lives - blessings of family, health, freedoms and our basic needs being provided for. Yes, I am deeply thankful for every one of those blessings. 

But there is so much more.Like a lover courting his beloved, God showers us with His kindness daily - and we often miss it. As a wife who notices a new car in the driveway, but fails to acknowledge or notice the rose on her pillow, or the tender hug after a hard day, we take so much for granted, never noticing the ministrations of His hand in our day to day existence.

 Each and every day God showers us with gifts. From glowing sunrises, to flaming sunsets, and everything in between, He gifts us with kindnesses that display His majesty, His brilliance, His creativity, His attention to detail, His joy, and His love for us. Do we see it? Do we see the glistening dewdrop clinging to the web - minuscule rainbow hues captured within?
Do we notice the sunlight dancing on autumn colors, flaming with brilliance against the bluest of skies? Do we notice the stars He placed in the Heavens, and the moon's silvery brilliance? When we notice those beauties, do we recognize them as gifts from His hand?

Do we hear the laughter of little children, the song of the birds announcing the morning, notes of music put together in such a way that they bring tears to our eyes and joy to our hearts with the beauty of lyric and melody? 

We live such harried, busy lives. I know I do. I have places to be, and not much time between one thing and another, and sometimes I miss the gifts. I see them, but I don't recognize them as  gifts  from the Great Lover of my Soul, meant to woo me to loving Him more, and to show me of His love for me. 

The way God lavishes us with His many kindnesses is what I am intentionally thankful for today. Those glimpses of who He is, what He is about and how much He loves make me hunger to be in His presence. And "In His Presence is fullness of joy". Happy Thanksgiving!

Unexpected Views

I opened my blinds this morning, only to behold a winter fairy land outdoors. Hoar frost clung to everything  that reached toward the skies. What an unexpected sight to behold! I had expected to see the same view that I had yesterday and the day before...that of a very drab, worn out looking landscape, vascilating between winter and spring, patchwork sections of snow and grass. But this morning was sparkling, fresh, and lovely.

Often, I go through life the same way...expecting to see the same drab scenery that was the past. Sometimes, not even bothering to open my blinds, I stay in my bubble of low and humdrum expectations. God doesn't let me stay there long, though. When I am in His Word, and spending time in prayer and fellowship with other believers, He changes my perspective. My to do list becomes opportunities to serve, or to grow. My job becomes an opportunity to share His love, my family become the people that I want to be kindest to, my sadnesses become opportunities to bare my soul to the One and Only Lord Jesus, who loves me and who will make "beauty out of ashes".

1 Corinthians 13:12 says "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part;then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known."

On the tails of the great "love chapter" in which we are given a beautiful picture of love, this verse reminds us that right now, we see things through our drab, humdrum glasses - glasses which do not always show the glorious views we are promised when we draw close to God. As we grow in our knowledge and understanding of God and who He is, the view we get of Him through our "window" becomes transformed. We see Him more clearly and are in awe of His beauty and majesty. But the journey begins with knowledge, discipline, faith, loyalty and trust. We are also promised the following:

1 John 3:2 -" Beloved, we are God's children now and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure."

Can you imagine the view from our window on that day? We will behold him who will far exceed our expectations....and we will get to be like him. The drab patchwork pieces that we think have made up our lives will be transformed - we will see our lives and ourselves the way he does. We will gaze in awe at this Christ, whom we thought we knew, and find him far greater than we could ever expect or imagine. Oh, glorious day!