18 and a half years ago I began a journey - from being a young woman and wife to that of becoming Mama to a healthy, adorable, sweet, smart, - and yes, challenging, little person. Suddenly, it felt like my heart was split wide open, vulnerable to more joy and more pain than I ever thought possible before. This love was consuming, vast and different than what I had known before, and it changed me. Soon, my little one became a toddler. I had left some of my trivial ways behind as love for a little person crowded them out. There were nights of little sleep and days of putting aside my to do list just to be with her. To interact with her, to rejoice over who she was and how she was growing, to capture precious moments that would slip by too easily - like a trickle of water down a mountainside. Prayers became breath as I thanked, praised, and lifted up my little one to her Heavenly Father, who loved her, unfathomably, more than I did. She grew to be a preschooler and a big sister - a feisty little thing with a will of her own - why do children come with minds of their own? It would be so much easier if they came wired to agree with their parents on everything. I anguished, but I grew and changed. And my understanding of God and how he covets our love, loyalty and obedience deepened. I wanted those very things from my child. I journeyed with her through her school age years. Through the character training, the school work, the friend issues, the strange stages of asserted independence. I walked alongside her in her middle school and high school years. Watched the gangly limbs and crazy teeth transform into slender form and lovely smile. Watched her grow in faith, kindness, love, self sacrifice and beauty. Prayed with and encouraged her through heartbreaks with friends, sister conflicts, chores, lots of firsts and several sad lasts. And now we stand on the threshold as she is poised to take the rest of her life's journey without me being right there, without me walking side by side with her. We celebrate her accomplishments and we treasure her dreams. And I am standing on the threshold beside her, realizing that I too, am graduating. Graduating from being a mama of a child to that of being a mama to a young lady. And it is different. And I am different. I will never be the same - being a mama changed me and grew me closer to God than I ever would have come without this journey. It was my greatest honor and privilege to parent my children. This graduation day, it is not only my child who will be moving on to her next chapter - but I will as well. The journey awaits!
